Saturday, February 20, 2010

Legion

When a movie has a trailer like this, I don't think it's unreasonable for me to expect the actual movie to have a substantial amount of action. Instead, Legion offers what feels like hours and hours of boring characters doing basically nothing. I knew I was in trouble when I texted a friend to tell him about one of the previews (this baffling remake of the fantastic 2007 British comedy of the same name) and he replied "oh yeah I saw that when I sent to see that piece of shit Legion." Piece of shit, indeed. I still can't figure out what the hell Dennis Quaid and Paul Bettany were doing in this movie.

Oh did you want a few words about the plot? God "loses faith" in humans and decides to destroy them. Instead of sending an army of his badass fightin angels (who are mysteriously controlled by shock collars rather than faith) to do the job (or just snapping his heavenly fingers because he is after all GOD) God decides to possess humans to make them twitchy and confusing. For unknown reasons some pregnant lady's baby is the only hope. Paul Bettnay is a fallen angel who decides to protect her. Very little fighting ensues, many characters die offscreen. Laurie's friend falls asleep for a while in the middle. The people yelling/laughing at the screen proves to be the best part of the movie.

Rating: Seriously, 0%

6 comments:

Belabras said...

It truly was abysmal. We, too, laughed at the screen several times.

Sadly, coming out at this time of year with the rest of hollywood's stankiest effluvia, it will probably make a tidy profit.

laurie said...

My only consolation was that I went to see it at the "rowdy" theater where people do not hesitate to tell the other audience members how they really feel.

I.J. said...

Rowdiness and telling people how I really feel have made me the most popular member of R3.

LoCo said...

This movie did look totally scary and creepy! I actually got it confused with Shutter Island. Sorry it ended up sucking. It's especially frustrating to see a bad movie in NY because your ticket cost as much as a balcony seat on Broadway.

Walter Benjamin and the Mechanical Reproductions (the band) said...

tldr

Quammy said...

I haven't seen a good crappy in a rowdy theatre in years. I have, however, had some mediocre movies ruined by rowdiness in the last few months. And they wonder why so many people download movies these days?